im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
