Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
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