I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
Randomize
