i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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