the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
Randomize
