I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
It's Friday. Sex?
If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
