She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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