Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
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