I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
and you fell through a lawn chair
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
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