Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
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