Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
Randomize
