She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
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