Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
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