He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
