Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
