Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
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