i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
My pussy is not your playground.
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
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