dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
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