TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
Randomize
