i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
Randomize
