Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Randomize
