He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
