so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
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