Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
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