I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
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