I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
Randomize
