): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
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just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
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Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
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