He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
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