the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
Randomize
