ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
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