The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
Randomize
