we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
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