GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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