Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Randomize
