I'm drive I can fine osifer
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
