No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
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