Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman