I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
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