drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
Randomize
