no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Randomize
