I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
Randomize
