i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
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