Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
