My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
BRING THE BAGELS
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
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