Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
Randomize
