I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
