Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
