I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
Randomize
