It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Randomize
