I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
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oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
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If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
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