somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
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