so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
Randomize