So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
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