I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
