Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
He is an equal opportunity slut.
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
Best part of being a cop: When I showed up at Thanksgiving with stitches in my head I could tell them I was "protecting and serving" not "drinking and falling down". Career validated.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
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