Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Randomize
