I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
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