I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
Randomize
