I don't think brook has ever known best
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Randomize
