based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
Randomize
