no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
Randomize
