I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize
