just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
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